Monday, September 10, 2007

is sleeping considered a hobby?

is sleeping considered a hobby?

I need a hobby. I envy those who work out regularly (and by the way, while everyone is badmouthing Britney Spears for how fat she looked at the VMA's....I'd still like to have her figure...). Those who collect things, sew, name it. My hobbies seem to include: watching TV (Big Brother, anything on Discovery Health, and basically any reality show), playing with our two dogs, doing laundry, cleaning house, and going to work. Throw in a little free time with my husband, and that's pretty much my life.

I do read some. I just finished The Other Boleyn Girl. It was wonderful, I really enjoyed it. Plus it made me appreciate being a woman in today's time. Sure, we may still get paid less than men, but at least we don't have to worry about being killed at the whim of our husbands.....well, at least not in this country. Most of the time. Of course, now I'm flashing back to Scott Peterson and that creepy guy in Salt Lake City that killed his pregnant wife. Hmmm, perhaps we haven't come as far as we thought.

I know I said that I was going to obsess during this 2ww, but now that it's officially here...of course I'm obsessing. I've studied my calendar, looked at the days where I had positive opks and peak days on my CBEFM. I've compared those readings to the days that we bd'd. I swear, you would think that I was an NFL coach planning for the superbowl. I've analyzed and reanalyzed every portion of my fertile time.....hmm, would it have been better to bd this day or that day? We did it in the morning that day....maybe next time on the second peak day we should do it in the evening. I'm the Queen of second quessing myself...Which I know is pointless. At this point, there's either a tiny little egg and sperm circling each other, making polite small talk before joining forces.....or the egg has gone her way and the swimmers have gone their way. No amount of analyzing is going to change that.

I'm still considering clomid for next cycle. And trying to decide when to go back to the RE (Reproductive Endo-word I can not spell....basically the Fertility Specialist). I'd like to give it till January, but I'd also really like to be pregnant before Christmas. I wish there was some magic 8 ball that would tell me the right choice to make. I also wish that I could just chill out on this stuff. But please, whatever you do....don't tell me just to relax and it will happen. Every woman who has struggled to have a baby has heard those "wise" words of wisdom time and time again, and let me tell you. They aren't true. draft by liz 12:49:00 PM Delete

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