Thursday, September 20, 2007

crushed hopes

well, it looks like this month was another failure....I just went to the bathroom and discovered that I am starting to should be here full force tomorrow. I haven't been too hopeful this month, but there's always a piece of me that thinks "surely this is the month". It's just hard to accept it when it's not.

I'm sad. I'm sad that I have to disappoint my dh. I'm mad. I feel betrayed by my body. Usually I feel at least a little hopeful at the start of a new cycle, but I think I'm just numb now. There's only so much heartbreak that one person can take. And I think I am at my limit.

I have a doctor's appt Monday to discuss Clomid. I'm trying to focus on that.

I just want a baby. I want my husband to be a daddy.

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