Wednesday, October 17, 2007

am I a slacker or what

So when I started this blog I did it with the best of intentions...I was going to post often, and say incredibly interesting and witty things. Obviously that has not happened!

The last couple of weeks has been so crazy. Last weekend I ended up being unexpectedly out of town for a good portion of it. Fortunately, I had already o'd so it didn't matter that dh wasn't there...well, of course it mattered....I hate being away from him. But I did get to see my family, and that was nice.

I'm stuck in the middle of the 2ww right now. I o'd early last week, so now I'm about 7dpo's I think. Wayyy too early to test, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to. This is my first cycle of clomid, so of course my hopes are up that this is the month. We'll see. I have no bfp symptoms, but logically I know that it would be too early to have them right now. I have had some hot flashes, which I'm attributing to the clomid. They aren't too bad though. I had worse last year when I was on lupron.

I just feel kind of detached right now. I'm so tired of ttc controlling everything. I can barely remember what is was like to eat sushi, drink beer, and (horror upon horror) eat a cold-cut sandwich without first having to figure out where I was in my cycle. And to top it off, I have a very good suspicion that my sister is using drugs. She's had drug and alcohol problems before, and it seems like she may be having them again. At this point I would just write her off. I know that sounds horrible. She is my sister. But she's put us all through so much that I really have no sympathy for her. But I can't do that, because my 6 year old niece is with her. So my older nieces are coming into town this weekend and we're going to figure out what we should do. Drama, drama, drama.

anyways, sorry I have nothing entertaining to say.
I'm tired. I'm sad that I'm not at home right now w/ a 6 week old baby like I should be. And I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself.

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